Billy Joel reveals past emotional battles in documentary

Billy Joel has opened up about his troubled past, exposing the emotional storms that led him to attempt suicide twice in his early adulthood.

The celebrated musician's revelations come to light as he discusses his guilt-ridden journey triggered by an affair and his battle with mental distress in the documentary "Billy Joel: And So It Goes."

In his early 20s, long before he topped charts worldwide, Joel was part of a band called Attila alongside his closest companion, Jon Small. Their camaraderie went beyond their musical collaboration, as Joel shared a home with Small, his wife Elizabeth Weber, and their young son.

Billy Joel Shares His Personal Anguish

However, Joel eventually disclosed a romantic passion for Weber, which shook the foundations of both his friendship and his musical pursuits. This confession marked the end of his friendship with Small and the dissolution of their band, leaving Joel burdened with substantial remorse.

The weight of the situation pressed heavily upon Joel, plunging him into emotional turmoil. "I felt like a homewrecker," he recalled of the time when his actions disrupted the domestic harmony of those he lived with.

In the aftermath of this unraveling, Joel found himself homeless, succumbing to the depth of a depression so severe that it bordered on psychosis. He described his state during this period as being homeless and finding refuge in laundromats.

Attempted Escape From The Overwhelming Guilt

The situation took a darker turn as Joel, overwhelmed by his mental anguish, attempted to take his own life twice. His first unsuccessful attempt involved overdosing on sleeping pills, which left him in a coma.

His sister endured days ridden with agony as she feared for his life. "I thought that I'd killed him," she expressed amidst the uncertainty of Joel's recovery during those harrowing hours.

Yet, despite the significant strain on their previous friendship, it was Small who became an unexpected lifeline during Joel's second suicide attempt. Joel consumed a household cleaner in a desperate cry for help, but it was Small who rushed him to the hospital, ensuring he received the timely medical intervention needed to survive.

Turning Trauma Into Creative Energy

After being hospitalized and placed in an observation ward, Joel emerged with a newfound perspective on how to handle his emotional conflict. He realized that he could leverage these intense feelings as a source of creative energy, translating them into his music.

Reflecting on this pivotal realization, Joel acknowledged the depth of his friend's past compassion: "Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life."

The recovery from these darkest periods eventually led Joel to a stable path where he could channel his pain into his art form, music becoming both a refuge and an expression.

Interestingly, Joel and Weber's complex relationship took a turn towards reconciliation, culminating in their marriage in 1973. Despite their tumultuous beginnings, the couple stayed together for nearly a decade until they parted ways in 1982.

The Triumph Of Resilience And Reflection

Through this confessional narrative, the documentary sheds light on lesser-known facets of Joel's life beyond his public persona. The revelations underscore his incredible strength to overcome personal adversity and the pivotal role creativity played in his recovery.

The story of Billy Joel’s early life challenges and subsequent transformations is not only a testament to his endurance but also serves as a reminder of the human capacity for redemption through self-reflection.